So, the boyfriend left this morning for his 6-month deployment. Around noon he started on a series of flights that will eventually land him in Iraq.
It was kind of weird this morning when we said goodbye. It was very similar to any other morning that he’d leave for work except the hug lasted a little longer, I had tears in my eyes and we both knew that instead of him coming back at the end of the day, he won’t be back until the end of the year.
I don’t know what I was expecting. Some long, drawn out proclamation of love? A promise of a blossoming future? I think we both knew we have to deal with the situation at hand and though those other thoughts and feelings have to be put on a back burner right now it doesn’t mean they don’t exist or aren’t important.
I’m really not handling it as well as I thought I would. I’ve been crying off and on since he left at 7:30 this morning. (Those that know me know that I’m EXTRA emotional.) I really want to be the strong girlfriend that knows this separation is only temporary and is confident her boyfriend will be back in December, unharmed. For some reason I just can’t be that person right now no matter how hard I try.
This weekend was spent packing, cleaning and just enjoying some down time. He even took me on a mini-tour of his job, showing me their training tools, different types of explosives and their equipment, like the robot they use to disarm bombs. Seeing some of that stuff gave me a better understanding of what he does and, I thought, calmed my fears a little. But all of that was forgotten this morning as he left my apartment.
But, I guess it may be too early to tell since this is only the first day. I can only hope that it gets easier and I can be the person he needs me to be.
Still, December 17 can’t get here fast enough.
3 comments:
Dang - you had me crying & I haven't even met the boy yet..... You're stronger than you think & time will go by quickly. Concentrate on all those silly things he does to make you laugh. The more you recall, the more you'll smile. By December 17th folks will be ready to have you committed cause you laugh out loud at the most inappropriate times.
Luv ya,
Mom
GET A GRIP!! LOL! Sike nah, I know I tease you about being a punk and a cry baby, but that's what sisters are for. Stay positive, don't think anything bad into exsistence. He will be fine and when he gets home we're all coming down to scare him...oops I mean welcome him into the family! Be strong...we Rucker women are "built Ford Tough" LOL! Find a few of those cute Ts to represent while he's gone and keep encouraging him to keep his spirits up while he's away. He needs you to be strong when he feels he no longer can be...and that time WILL come. I agree with mommy, you're stronger than you think!! LOVE YOU!! I'll be there next month!! So wipe those tears so we can PARTY!!
*sister*
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